GOD’S RECIPE FOR THE SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
INTRODUCTION
A. Richard Bernard “Red” Skelton (7/18/1913–9/17/1997) was a comedian best known as a top radio & television star from 1937 to 1971.
a. these were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun
b. he always ended his programs with the words, 'God Bless'
c. in one show he commented on the meaning of each phrase of the Pledge of Allegiance, he added: "Wouldn't it be a pity if someone said that [“under God”] is a prayer & that would be eliminated from schools too?"
B. The Sunday before Christmas I put Red Skelton’s recipe for the Perfect Marriage on the back page of the bulletin. Red’s recipe was a comedian’s way of making us have a good laugh at marriage.
C. The fact of the matter is that there are no perfect marriages, because there are no perfect people. But even though your marriage is not perfect, it can be great by following God’s Recipe for a Successful Marriage” (Eph.5:22-33).
I. GOD’S RECIPE FOR HUSBANDS
A. (v25-31) First, observe more is said to the husband than to the wife.
B. Second, notice what it is that husbands are told to do to their wives.
a. it was not a “lay down the law” arrangement
a. majoring on law instead of love, on rules instead of relationship - actually believe they are helping their wife by constant reminders, criticisms, &
nitpicking [results in one become more bitter than better]
b. a controller/boss – no person has the right to control another person. God doesn’t even do that, but through love appeals to people to learn of
Him in order to know love (1Jn.4:8;Mt.11:28,29)
c. robs marriage of the joy God intended it to have
b. it is to be a “love” relationship (v25,28)
D. Husbands, if you want to contribute to a successful marriage, get to know Jesus as much as you can, for we are to love our wives like He loved the church.
II. GOD’S RECIPE FOR WIVES
A. (v22-24) I feel sorry for wives who suffer in a marriage where the husband views his role as a drill sergeant or dictator; depriving the wife of the full joy of marriage & making them live in legalistic bondage.
B. Bad husbands notwithstanding, wives, submit, “as unto the Lord.”
a. don’t’ be your husband’s worse critic (Prov.19:13; 21:19; 25:24; 10:12; 1Pet.4:8)
b. be his companion, lover & best friend (v31; 1Pet.3:1-6)
III. CHRIST & HIS CHURCH
A. (v32) Some preachers/teachers portray Jesus as a harsh, strict, law enforcing god, who He is not. They portray Christianity as a handed-down cold set of rules to be obeyed to gain & maintain acceptance with God, instead of the personal spiritual relationship it is.
a. most people want nothing to do with this kind of religion because it is nothing more than legalistic bondage (Mt.11:28-32)
b. illustration from “Breaking The Bondage of Legalism” pg. 58
B. God has done away with the old system that shut up everyone under sin & brought us into a new grace-based relationship where we have acceptance with God, not because we perform well, but simply because we are in His Son (Eph.1:6).
a. under the old covenant the Israelites sought God’s acceptance by keeping commandments written on stone & in a book
b. under the new covenant, God says, “I will put My laws upon their heart, & upon their mind I will write them” (Heb.10:16)
c. it is no longer an external effort to achieve righteousness, but an internal reality because God has “made us accepted in the Beloved”
C. When a husband is loving his wife she cannot help but respond to that love, so when the real loving Jesus is portrayed, we will have no problem submitting to His will (1Jn.4:19; 2Cor.5:14).
CONCLUSION
Red Skelton’s 1st marriage was not a perfect marriage & ended in divorce after 13 years. His 2nd marriage also ended in divorce. Perhaps, he really did follow "his recipe" for a perfect marriage, when he should have been following God’s recipe for a successful marriage.